The topic of worthiness is a very common one during the sessions with our clients, who are predominantly female. Historically, we have associated the concept of worth with things like:
- How much money do you have
- How popular you are
- How strong your relationship is
- How religious you are
- If you follow the “correct” or “right” course of action
- Did you go to college
- Did you get a job right away
- Do you own a house
- Do you wear a certain size of jeans
Whether we consciously are aware of measuring our worth this way or subconsciously, I’m sure we have all fallen victim to viewing our own worth in these terms.
So, why do we do this?
Our Western culture is one that places a high value on achievement and constant growth. We are wired from a young age to believe that we MUST follow a certain path in order to be deemed worthwhile to our society. Moreover, as children, whose brains are developing, we begin to interpret self-worth as being the same as how successful or superior you are perceived by others.
We are conditioned to place a high level of emphasis on being a certain body size, having a certain job, achieving a certain grade point average, etc. We carry these beliefs into adulthood, which results in these beliefs manifesting in various parts of our life. Parts such as work, relationships, parenting, etc.
But the reality is that all of those things are external, and not at all the same thing as our internal worth.
Worth, to me and to the therapists at Replenish Her, is about being of value and importance. It is not something we EARN but is something inherent. We are all born with worth, and deserving of it. It is not something we need to achieve, it is something that belongs to each of us, just by being exactly who we are and made to do.
Food for thought:
The more you can start to own that for yourself, the more that you believe that you are enough just as you are, and the more you can play a part in changing this world. You believing in your worth causes little ripple effects that could challenge the outlook of the society at large. Specifically, our Western culture to no longer place pre-requisites upon us being deserving of worth.
You do not need to change who you are in order to be deserving.